Agony Aunt Agatha #5

How do I start opening up to people cause I find it difficult to trust people with my thoughts and emotions   

Trust is something that builds with time and it’s not something that should be forced. But to start yourself off, always start small, and with people that you are not only close to, but that you also most importantly feel comfortable, safe, and happy around. Make the effort to start sharing small details about yourself, and have faith that it will start branching out, maybe even be the trigger for a long sharing session if you’re lucky. Even if the conversation doesn’t start off like a sharing session, you never know what could come out of it. Trust is also a mutual thing, and shouldn’t be one-sided; take what they share with you as cues to do the same if you feel ready to, and invite them to respond similarly with your own sharing. It’s easy to feel like you’re being too much, or that everybody is out to get you, but it’s really not the case. Most people enjoy making friends and earning trusted ones. That said, however, do be careful with who you choose to open up to. Make sure that they care, and always keep an eye out for how they are receiving the information, especially if they seem uncomfortable if you are moving too quickly, or if they seem like a good option to talk to just because they’re charming. Opening up to people, and having people receive you, takes time. You don’t have to rush anything, and you don’t have to always throw yourself and everything about yourself at people, but the fundamental baseline is that you must try to be yourself around people. The more comfortable you naturally feel around people, the more open you will feel, and the more ready you will be to share more about yourself with them. So don’t be afraid to take the initiative to strike up a conversation and share that first little bit of information about yourself! We wish you the best of luck~

 

I’ve developed feelings for a J2 who’s in my CCA. We rarely talk but I’m keen on continuing my pursuit. Am I making a stupid decision? 😦  

Showing interest and chasing your passions is never a stupid decision; jeopardizing your priorities, however, really might be. Always feel free to expand your social circles and get closer to people that catch your interest, even or maybe even especially ones you feel drawn to – but always keep things in perspective. Firstly, consider that your studies are supposed to be first priority and getting distracted is easy. I’m sure you already know most of the pros and cons that comes with pursuing someone at this age. Also consider the impact you yourself might make on the J2, who is taking their A levels this year. You can always work on building a friendship first, and seeing how things go from there – JC is a short two years, especially when you’ll only be in the same school as your senior for just one year, but you can always stay in contact. Talking rarely is a first step, yes, but it just means there’s so much more room to grow! Secondly, be sure to keep yourself open to the way things may turn out to be, and don’t set yourself up for disappointment. Be honest and real with yourself, and treat your ‘pursuit’ as less of a ‘pursuit’ and more of an opportunity. Always remember that the world is bigger than just one person, and there are also many more fish in the sea! In the end, it will always be your life, your choice, and your consequences to bear. Follow your heart, but always keep your mind in the equation.

 

How to actually get good grades for your Promotion Exams (other then the good old mugging)?    

I am chagrined to inform you that from everything that has been observed so far, there is no such thing as scoring well for your Promotional Exams without mugging. There is, however, ways of making mugging much more manageable – and that is by maximizing your efficiency and its effectiveness enough to minimize time and energy spent on it. Everyone has a different way of studying, some may prefer merely reading and memorising the school notes, some may prefer writing their own notes to 

consolidate their learning and some may choose to do more practices in order to memorise a chunk of information. The best advice is to start 2 months in advance, space out your time evenly. You should have a calendar and separate your time wisely, maybe allocate each day for a different subject and make sure to include suitable off-days for your mind to take a mental break. Also, don’t forget to practice the extra exam packs that the school provides. Ensure that you strike a balance between your study and social life. Essentially, just customize your working style to yourself as best as possible – try out different methods if you find the ones you have aren’t working out for you. There are lots of options. Next, you can work extremely hard to memorise large chunks of information for your Promos, but if you do not prepare yourself mentally and physically before the exam, all these would regrettably go to waste. Although this may seem like common sense, you need to eat the right food, have the right mental attitude and let your body rest when it needs to when the Promos are just around the corner. Although this may seem cliche, drinking lots of water helps you think clearer as you mind will be rehydrated. Eat plenty of nutritious food In addition, you can’t afford to stay awake all night studying for an exam. WHY? Because, you won’t be able to effectively and efficiently recall information for the exam! I hope these tips have been beneficial for you. Good Luck to all on the upcoming MYEs, Promos and A Levels!

 

How to deal with a group member in PW that loves to go AWOL?    

First of all, talk to the person, ask them why they are going AWOL, is it because he/she has a problem with someone in the group? Is it because the person has no interest in the subject? Make sure that your group gets to the root of the problem. Everybody has a different working style, and while it is important to acknowledge how one works best, when it comes to teamwork, some kind of compromise must be found for the effectiveness of the whole team. The next step: address the problem. How? It really depends on the problem, having regular group meetings aside from PW lessons and ensure that everyone is contributing one way or another. If the person isn’t doing his/her work, your group should either

  1. Try to confront him/her and ask the person why aren’t they doing something about PW and try to find out the root cause of the problem, tackling it from there. If they try to avoid it, just keep them there until they answer!
  2. Look for a teacher for assistance in convincing them of your stand.

 

Lastly, be objective. The group leader should assign everyone a particular task and set aside objectives. Ensure that each group member finishes his/her work. As for that group member who loves to go AWOL, make sure that he/she finishes her work aside from the PW lesson. So long as the person completes the task given, there should be no reason as to why it is a problem. Good luck on this arduous journey!

 

 

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