AAA #17

Designed by: Athena Lim (19-A4)

 

I have a JAE classmate that makes very spiteful comments towards me because he feels that I am very exclusive in terms of the people I talk to, being a JIP student. However, this is not the case; I am a very introverted individual while he is a more extroverted one so I find it very hard to talk to him. How do I handle this?

 

I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been going through this with your classmate! Because some social circles that were formed in the IP schools have been carried over here naturally, your JAE classmate may find it difficult to join in your conversations, thus leading to his misunderstanding that he is being excluded While none of this excuses how he’s been treating you, perhaps he has other difficulties beneath that extroverted personality that you are unaware of, just as he could be unaware that your introversion is what prevents you from approaching him.  Although I understand it is hard as an introvert to engage in tough or awkward conversations, you do need to stand up for yourself and make sure he knows that you won’t allow him or anyone else to treat you this way and, more importantly, to clarify the misunderstanding! Hopefully, he is able to understand where you are coming from as well and you guys can work this out! It never hurts to make new friends, especially with your classmates who you’re going to spend another year with. You could also set aside time to talk to him a few times a week or take care to reach out to him in the activities you do with your friends so that you both get to know one another better and can build a new friendship. Wishing you all the best!

 

I don’t like my CCA  because I can’t stand my Exco and they are doing a bad job running it. I want to speak out but I don’t know (how) I can because I’m not an Exco member. Help! 

 

Firstly, you do not have to be afraid of offering constructive feedback to your EXCO members just because you are not part of the EXCO. Remember, you work with them, not for them. Since you are all members of the same CCA, it is good that everyone has ownership of the CCA. Moreover, open communication between the EXCO and the rest of the CCA is crucial for the cohesion of the CCA. Hence, don’t hesitate to speak to your EXCO just as you would with your peers. We are sure that they are more than willing to hear your thoughts about this CCA and how they as an EXCO can improve,  since there are definitely more people out there who also do not dare to speak their thoughts to their EXCOs, even if they have meaningful suggestions. If you feel you are not close enough to the whole EXCO, you could perhaps approach the EXCO member whom you feel most comfortable with, and hopefully they will convey your thoughts to the rest. You can also consider finding several other friends from the CCA and go meet the EXCOs as a group. If you are afraid your lone voice will not make a significant impact, having others with you will certainly help. Of course, feedback is only constructive if it addresses issues and not individuals, so keep your comments objective, and provide suggestions rather than mere criticism. At the end of the day, the CCA’s improvement is the common objective everyone should hold. 

 

Vent your problems to Agony Aunt Agatha here!

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